A funeral is an incredibly tough time but also one that can be used to celebrate and honour the life of the deceased with a touching and personal tribute. This can come in many different ways but one of the most poignant is the song choices during the ceremony. Music plays a key part to many funerals and celebrations of life and is something that can be used to spark memories and honour the life of the departed.
Historically, the use of music in funeral services was very sombre and often took place in the form of a hymn. Requiems, songs discussing mourning and death, were also fairly typical. By and large, music was heavily restricted in the funeral service but times have changed and music now has a larger role to play in most services. Typically, the funeral service will have a song to walk into, a song for remembrance and a song for exiting the building. During some services, there may also be a featured hymn but this is not always the case and less common than it was traditionally.
It is often the case that the deceased will have chosen their music before their passing but this is not always possible and it may fall on the family to decide what music is appropriate and best represents their loved one. There are many options to choose from and you can very easily get lost and stressed about the decision on top of everything else that is going on at that moment. Therefore, we wanted to offer some popular ideas and suggestions to make the choice as easy as possible.
Music to reflect personal taste
What is often a popular music choice is a song that is iconic to the individual. Now that doesn’t necessarily mean their favourite pop song but it could also mean an iconic song from their favourite movie or a song that symbolises their local town or sports team. This allows those in attendance to better remember the deceased and can be a really touching way of paying tribute. Some iconic and popular options are below :
- “Take My Breath Away” by Berlin (Top Gun)
- “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion (Titanic)
- “I Will Always Love You” by Whitney Housten (The Bodyguard)
- “Somewhere” (West Side Story)
- “You’ll Never Walk Alone”
- “Mull of Kintyre”
Think about the tone you want
Services now come in all shapes and sizes and this is reflected in the different tones funerals can have. While all services aim to be respectful and touching tributes to the life of the deceased, some funerals can be more positive and uplifting while others choose to be poignant and emotional. Taking this in account allows you to honour the departed in your own way and match the service with appropriate music.
Positive funeral songs
- “My Way”- by Frank Sinatra
- “The Best”- by Tina Turner
- “Always Look on the Bright Side of Life” – by Eric Idle
- “Beautiful Day”- by U2
- “Don’t You Forget About Me”- by Simple Minds
- “Bring Me Sunshine”- by Morecambe and Wise
- “Ain’t No Mountain High Enough”- by Diana Ross
Poignant funeral songs
- “Hallelujah”- by Jeff Buckley
- “Angels”- by Robbie Williams
- “Let It Be”- by The Beatles
- “Who Wants to Live Forever”- by Queen
- “Chasing Cars”- by Snow Patrol
- “Everybody Hurts”- by REM
- “My Immortal”- by Evanescence
Pre-recorded or live performance?
Another thing to consider is whether you would like pre-recorded music or live music. Modern funerals typically use pre-recorded music as it is more convenient and it offers you a wider selection of choice but you can organise a singer if you feel it is appropriate. Some people may have a singer in mind who they would want to perform at the ceremony. Sometimes this can be a friend of the family which is a sweet, sentimental touch as it makes the service even more personal. Another option is to hire a live musician. There are many musicians that offer this service if you would rather do a live performance and many people prefer this as it offers a more traditional touch. In most venues, an organ is provided for those who would like to use it.
Best practises for selecting music
Give it some time. There is no hurry to decide quickly. It’s crucial that you obtain the music you deem ideal, even if it takes some time.
Choose the order and number of songs. In most services, 3-5 songs are played. Consider the songs you wish to hear first and last. Choosing their favourite song as the final song is the ideal send-off because typically the last song is the one that people will remember. Additionally, think about whether you want any music played during any speeches or tributes. Sometimes people prefer background instrumental music that is played gently.
Make sure the music captures the individual. The song is intended to pay tribute to your loved one. You must also take into account the fact that these songs will almost certainly serve as reminders of that person in the future. Make sure they could relate to the song. Choosing music they loved would make everyone feel closer to them because listening to music while reflecting is the ideal time to do so.
Make a careful review of the song choices. Make sure to hear ALL of the lyrics before making a decision. Sometimes, things might not mean what you thought they meant or what you recall meaning.
Try to learn what music they would prefer to hear. Naturally, it might not always be possible to determine the exact song that someone wants played at their burial. The majority of individuals do not enjoy discussing it, however some are rather receptive to doing so.
Check with the venue first. Each venue will have its own set of guidelines, so get in touch with them as soon as you can. It is advisable to always double-check in advance because many churches now permit a combination of religious and nonreligious music and readings.
In conclusion, a funeral is a challenging time, but it can also be a moment for celebrating and honouring the life of the departed through the power of music. Funeral music has evolved from sombre hymns and requiems to a more diverse and personal selection of songs in modern funeral services. Whether you choose music that reflects the individual’s taste, the tone you want to set for the service, or decide between pre-recorded or live performances, there are various factors to consider when selecting the right music.
Taking your time to decide, choosing the order and number of songs thoughtfully, and ensuring that the music captures the essence of the individual are essential steps in the process. Additionally, understanding the meaning of the lyrics and trying to align the music with the deceased’s preferences can make the tribute even more meaningful. Finally, it’s crucial to check with the venue to ensure that the chosen music aligns with their guidelines and can be incorporated seamlessly into the service. Ultimately, the right music can serve as a beautiful and poignant tribute, helping everyone in attendance remember and honour the life of the departed.
